Even You: Spiritual Betrayal

Dear Beloved:
You said you were struggling with this Holy Week and feeling distant from God. The betrayal has shaken your faith, and you found yourself wrestling as you wrote this poem. Thanks for sharing it here.

Even You Betrayed Me?

A Lament

I never expected this

Not from him, not from them,

Certainly not from You.

At least he was human, sinful, and addicted

to something that almost destroyed him

At least others were ignorant, misguided, and unprepared

But You…

You are supposed to be

All-powerful and all-knowing,

You saw everything,

You knew I would be crushed,

Yet You didn’t intervene,

You let it be

Where were You?

How could You?

Why did You?

Even You betrayed me!

In the rubble, barely breathing

Death somehow seems more appealing

Not sure if I’ll ever survive

This darkness that seems to swallow me alive

Through the thick clouds, amidst the darkened sky

A thin ray of sunlight

It was Friday night

Time for the ultimate sacrifice

The dark hour has come

You dripped blood all over striped scars

You were innocent, the Lamb of God

Bearing the sins of the world

Breaking Your heart

The heaviness and the piercing pain of abandonment

from the One who could have taken all this suffering away

Maybe

You felt betrayed too

By the shouts of “Hosanna” turning into “Crucify Him”

Maybe

You felt betrayed too

By those closest to You who chose to sell and deny You

Maybe

You feel betrayed

Every time one of Your sheep strays

Maybe, in Your mysterious ways

You have never been far away

Maybe, in Your incomprehensible sovereignty

You knew that love’s price is costly

Maybe, the greatest betrayal was necessary

To show Your unwavering love

For me

So I look to the tree

And remember the One

Who chose Calvary

In my ashes, in my weeping

I receive the washing of Your blood

The covering of Your love

The hope of Your resurrecting power

The promise of Your faithfulness

And new mercies every morning

Even for me

“I say to myself: ‘The Lord is my inheritance;

Therefore, I will hope in Him’.”

Lamentations 3:24